Talking to young kids about death
Edie, my three year old daughter asked me sleepily ‘Mummy why do people die?’. I was slightly taken aback but not hugely as I haven’t shied away from the subject of dying whenever it has arisen during the past year. Eg: I’m always very cautious about their safety when we are walking on the narrow pavements of our nearby town and when they ask ‘Why?’ I tell them that I don’t want them squashed by a car as it may mean the end of them.
Although I want them to understand that dying is inevitable to all living things at some time or other I don’t want them to worry unnecessarily so I am going to look in the local library for a book which explains things more eloquently than I might.
I come from a family of staunch atheists and so my own beliefs about what happens when a loved one dies are based upon the biological fact that the end of the living body is the end of that person apart from of course what is left in in memories, dreams, video footage, photos and letters. It is really really sad to think ahead to a time where people you have known all your life are know longer available for a phone call or visit but surely forewarned about such things is forearmed? Even when my dear friend Rachael’s unborn baby died this summer and the children saw me weeping I felt it was my responsibility to tell them the very sad news.
The kids have recenly seen that the the lovely brown fury piggies at the local fruit farm have now gone and instead there is a big sign inviting us customers to buy our organic pork (ready apple-sauced as they have been truffling round the orchard for the past year!). At first the kids said ‘That was kind of the piggie to give the farmer some of his meat…I think they will give him a plaster so it won’t hurt.’ but I think it has now dawned on them that the meat is the piggie.
I see on Amazon that there is a book called ‘Why do people die?’ which looks like the sort of thing I think Edie would like. Poor little love she should be thinking about how to build the tallest lego tower or whether to wear hair in a plait or bunches but instead she’s thinking about dead things….
I like this webpage about Talking to children about death as it doesn’t make me feel stupid for not having all the answers.
November 9th, 2006 at 1:42 pm
[...] This post on Becoming Domestic made me wonder about how to talk to children about death. [...]