Having a slow summer with kids
I’m going to come out and say it here and say it proudly that I’m actively not one of those mums who sign the kids up for swimming, ballet, soccer, music lessons, horseriding, Brownies/Scouts etc. Its partly because I am a bit lazy and not that good at committing myself to things but mainly its because I really feel strongly that kids should be able to (a) entertain themselves (especially those with loads of overly generous relatives and friends giving them LOADS of toys, books, comics, crafty sets at every given opportunity) and should (b) have plenty of opportunity to just ‘be’ - especially, ESPECIALLY after what must be a really intense tiring, noisy, hot, organised day at school with education activities for a good solid 6 hours five days a week.
My (five year old twin) kids come home shattered after school and its all I can do to get them to eat a jam sandwich and a glass of milk, play for a little while before they are up to have their bath at 5.30, a quiet play and a read in their bedroom, a few stories and poems from me and lights out for 7pm.
Some of their little five year old friends have loads of classes after school and on the weekend too. Its not for us as we like being flexible to our whims and moods. I started playing the piano when I was five (probably due to my musical grandmother insisting) and I used to hate having to practice for 20 minutes each night in a cold empty dining room. I’m now extremely grateful that I can read music and can bash out a few old favourites so I would like my kids to start learning a musical instrument one day but not right now.
we’re now half way through the school summer holidays. The children have had a few play dates, we’ve met some of their chums in the local fruit farm for a run around and an ice cream, we’re off to see old friends in London for a few days and another trip to see the grandparents in Bristol but for me the fact that they are off school doesn’t mean I am dropping everything to keep them entertained. We are not spending huge amounts of money on day trips to special places (although we will be going to see some Dr Who exhibition in a town 30 miles from here as I have broken under the constant pressure from a very persistant, verbal five year old Dr Who fan in my house).
I still have to keep the house clean, make meals, do grocery shopping, feed the baby, do the financial admin for my husband’s internet software business so when the kids come to me complaining of being bored I don’t feel guilty for not ‘doing’ more with them. I point out that they have a big back garden with a climbing frame, a swing and a willow den. They have more books than I do, a huge craft cupboard full of stuff to make, paint draw, another cupboard full of games and yet another full of jigsaw puzzles. Still more boxes of musical instruments, cars, super heros, dolls etc etc etc. They also have each other which must be brilliant.
The tv in their playroom (oh yes they also have a dedicated playroom when it isn’t doubling up as our guest room) is ‘broken’ (unplugged) but occasionally I will let them watch a dvd or tv (especially when its raining and/or I have some pressing phone calls to make) in our grown ups front room.
More often than not shortly after I hear ‘Mummy what can I do I’m bored?’ (one child especially out of the pair finds it very hard to occupy themselves) I hear the biggest giggles or some actually quite nice music sounds coming from the piano or guitar or I’ll find them snuggled up under a sheet with all their millions of soft toys. It is said that creativity is a close relation to boredom.
I’m not totally neglegent. If I leave them to it for the morning and get my housework (they’re getting better at helping now) and my paid work done we’ll eat lunch together and then spend the afternoon feeding the ducks, having a play in a playground, visiting the librar, making something from one of their coobooks etc.
It doesn’t sounds very exciting but I don’t see why it should be exciting. I’m enjoying seeing them discover themselves and as I keep saying to myself when they make a lot of noise or mess they will be grown up for a lonnnnnng time and they will be able to join as many music and sports classes as they like then.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I completely agree with you - I can’t understand people who have to shepherd their kids into doing something EVERY MINUTE. Of course, it’s lovely to have hobbies, and to do past times that you enjoy - when you’re old enough to understand. It’s almost like they can’t stand being with their children on their own for 5 minutes. I live near Swindon, and it seems that the no. 1 activity for kids in the school holidays is being dragged round shops by their parents - which is probably a whole other issue
August 19th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Hooray!!!!! a like minded-mum. I’m so with you on this.So many mums i know seem to schedule every minute of their kids day. How on earth will they learn to occupy themselves/ make discoveries/ play with their siblings/ use their imaginations if you don’t allow them some space and time to get bored. I’m really pleased that mine are now appreciating simple things like helping to dig up the potatoes, make salt dough , play in dens they’ve made- their idea of exciting has changed. I think we’re doing the right thing by them