Becoming Domestic

Even as a grown-up prior to having school aged children I couldn’t help but think of September as a new beginning. I guess after so many many years in education where we had a lonnnnng vacation and then a fresh new start with new teachers, new subjects, new kit, new friends etc. it is inevitable that when we continue to think of the last days of summer and the first autumnal days as more of a new year than the calendar new year in the darkest dreariest days of winter.

It’s nearly the end of what has felt like a very long summer break with my two small twins and their little baby sister. The five year olds return to primary school the week after this and I am slightly ashamed to admit that I’m really looking forward to them being out of the house each day for eight hours. I can’t imagine how home educating families cope with running a household, keeping the children occupied (and learning) and quite often seem to manage to run small home-based businesses too. I obviously have a very long way to go before I can take care of so many important things without whinging about how hard it is and how tired I am.

Having said all that I have really enjoyed not doing the mad morning before school dash to get everyone up, fed, washed, dressed and to the playground by 8.45am. I’ve enjoyed being with the kids at their best not just at the end of the day when they are dog-tired.

As many professionals throughout the world take their holidays in August so businesses tend to slow down during this period and then when full teams of staff are back refreshed and ready to work hard managers often take this time of year to look ahead by conducting performance appraisals and the like.

With only ten more days of summer holidays left I am finding myself writing mental checklists of how I will use the time two of the children are not with me and creating lists of ‘New school years resolutions’ such as ‘Get fitter by going for a 30 minute walk with the baby in the pram each day after dropping the bigger kids off at school’ keep popping into my head and also looking back at this summer holiday - my first actual one but definitely my first as mother of three, and analysing what we could have done differently to make it better.

Here goes:

The Problems:

The main problems were
(a) the windy and rainy weather meaning we were all inside getting annoyed with one another and
(b) my inability to work/write while they were all demanding my attention
(c) one child being very good at playing, thinking of things to do etc while the other child doesn’t really like playing but instead likes to chat chat chat at whoever is near.

I think I’ve done fairly well one keeping on top of housework, cooking, cleaning but have found it more tiring than normal and there does seem to be a constant pile of folded laundry waiting to be put away.

The Successes:

Training the kids to take bowls through after breakfast, to get dressed, brush teeth, get dressed, make beds, put pyjamas under pillows. Also have enjoyed sending them out for ‘playtime’ after lunch each day despite one kid really not being keen on playing outside. Have also given myself a thumbs up for the near total tv ban for the last 5 weeks except for allowing a dvd film borrowed from the library to watch when I needed to do some work on the computer. I’ve done painting with them, cooking, taken them to stay in London with friends and to Bristol to visit their much loved relatives.

I used the general formula of using mornings to be at home to let the kids play freely & for me to be knee deep in jobs (washing, cleaning, cooking, business essentials) and then used the afternoons for one of the following:
- Vist the library to change books, borrow a dvd or just hang out (the kids did the nationwide ‘Team Read’ scheme with posters, games, stickers and a proper certificate at the end which they LOVED)
- A walk/feed ducks
- A visit to a local playground (none within walking distance so involves a car journey with bottles of water & snacks)
- A friend to visit or visit a friend
- Bake some cakes or make some other food chosen by the children by looking in their cookery books
- Food shopping (WITH a very strict list so I can bat off requests like ‘can we have stringy cheese please?’ with ‘No sorry its not on the list’)

Improvements for future holidays:

Keep this amazingly comprehensive list of ideas for keeping sane with young children during school hols printed out and to hand from Mumsnet. Summer Holiday Survival Tips.

Have playdates arranged with their friends as they seem to play so nicely when their is a gues in the house and usually the friend’s mother will take my kid(s) off my hands another day in reciprocation (I did wonder why mum’s were handing me post it notes with dates to come and play at the end of term but now realise that these mothers have older kids too and must have learnt ages ago the hard way like me this summer that playdates are a lifesaver). I shall plan more into the calendar next time.

Find a willing/able local teenager to come and be a mother’s help a few times a week during the longer holidays. This idea came from my stay with friends in London who have enlisted the services of local lovely girls to simply play with their tinies and sort out disputes over dressing up clothes etc. This will hopefully enable me to get a few vital chores or business work done.

Plan to take two weeks off somewhere in the middle of the holidays. We did this by accident and it was great. The first two weeks at home and preparing for the away weeks, then away, then back again and into the home stretch and getting ready for back to school.

Realise that these are precious years and times. I will never again have a summer holiday with five year old twins. They will be bigger each year and I’m sure I will forget the lost tempers, cross words, never ending chores and drop-down exhaustion but will try so hard to remember the cuddles, the funny stories, the hanging out in dressing up clothes/no clothes (them not me) and threatening them with taking 5p off their weekly pocket money and it working!

Finally the words (heavy French accent) of my mum’s friend years ago keep coming into my mind - her thoughts on the end of the summer holidays:
“The children are sad, the teachers are sad but the mothers - they are very very ‘APPY!”

Posted on August 25th, 2008 under Good Parenting, Holidays • RSS 2.0 feed • Leave a response, or trackback