In investigating the logistics and reality of home education we came across several wonderful blogs and websites written by families who were successfully keeping their children at home and enjoying watching them learn at their own pace things that interested them rather than being force to sit in the same classroom day in and day out following a National Curriculum. There seemed to be a common theme with all of them that being family orientated instead of work orientated led to a more satisfying way of life.

As a parent the way of life described in the websites we found seemed appealing to the extreme. A couple of them in particular had the effect of our re-evaluating our existence in London and within a few weeks we had quit our jobs, took the children out of private day nursery and downshifted to a life in the Worcestershire countryside where I became full time stay at home mother and Bealers set up a new internet software company similar to the one he had sold in London. The children were still only 3 years old last year when we made this move and the option of home education instead of mainstream school still very much appealed.

By September last year the children were eligible for five sessions per week at the local nursery which had just relocated its premises to a classroom within the local village primary school, adjacent to the reception class. At around the same time the business Bealers had set up took off tremendously well and it made sense for me to do some of the basic admin/office management tasks while he was busy doing fee earning client projects. The kids had a few settling in sessions which they loved as there were toys we didn’t have at home, messy play, painting etc. as well as children their own age. Having attended nursery from a very young age they were sociable creatures who loved making new friends.

The academic year ended in July for six weeks summer holiday by which time our minds were pretty much made up that both kids would move up to the reception class with seventeen of their little classmates from the pre-school room.

We are extremely fortunate that the village/town we have moved to has a wonderful, small primary school which plays a large role in the community here. It is in a picturesque setting with loads of green space. For the reception class there are two teachers yet only nineteen children. If one is going to send ones children to school after years of planning to home educate then this is a good one.

A huge factor in our decision to not keep the children at home is the free 30 hours of childcare primary school offers while I am able to go to the office, bill clients, pay staff, order stationery and the like. Our offices are a one minute walk away from the school so I am able to take them there and pick them up each day which I would not have been able to do if we were still living our ‘previous life’ in London as I worked full time.

My plan is to constantly monitor how happy both children are attending full time school. My gut feeling is that five days a week at this age is far too much so have an idea that within a year from now I will approach the head teacher to talk about the idea of flexi-schooling or part-time schooling where they are attending school for three or four days a week but doing things with me the remaining days of the week. He seems to be a very interesting non-conformist character and so I hope he will be open to this as a suggestion.

I know my daughter will thrive in school as there is nothing she likes more than sitting quietly doing drawing, writing, reading, making things, counting or playing nicely with other children. My son however is very much like I was at his age – super keen on the social side of school (and cannot wait to be reunited with his chums tomorrow) but not at all keen on the sitting down and doing ‘boring’ things. He will most probably have a reputation for being charming, funny, good at reading, talking, acting, singing and computing but will distract his other classmates when it is time for repetitive academic pursuits which require him to sit still and focus his attention.

I know that for our family, right now we have made the right decision but as with all other decisions I reserve the right to keep it constantly under review and perhaps do a massive U-turn in my thinking in the future. They are both thrilled that tomorrow is the first day of school and are really happy to be big enough to sport a school uniform. It does feel like a bit of a rite of passage for them to be leaving me tomorrow after six weeks at home in their too-big jumpers, neatly brushed hair and scuff-free Clarks shoes. I shall miss them I know I will.

I feel so mixed as I’ve loved being with them full time for the past couple of weeks and not having to get them dressed, supplied with a couple of packed lunches and out of the house by 8.30am but I also love working with Bealers and being involved in the business. It’s certainly quieter, more cerebral and people generally don’t screech at me or get toothpaste all over themselves in the office.

I’ve really really really missed the kids and keep finding myself thinking of calling them on the phone as if they were grown up friends.

Just before we broke up for Easter we got the happy letter confirming the twins had places for the reception class and could start in September. Given that there will only be 19 kids in the class, all of whom we know already from pre-school, the teachers seem nice and the school is just 2 minutes walk from our offices we have decided that we will not be home educating the children full time and they will be accepting places at the primary school. I’ll be able to work more hours and the kids will continue to be friends with the chums they have already made at school. For us it’s essentially free childcare that we will be subscribing to with the pleasant side effects of not having to take total responsibility for their primary education, make new friends etc.

I’m already slightly weepy at the thought of them going to school for five days a week whether they want to or not from September. I know I’ll feel strange not knowing the detail of what they have done, who thay have played with, was anyone nasty to them, were they naughty, embarrassed, happy, proud? This is strange for me to have these feelings given that I used to send them to full time childcare from the age of 7 months – 3 years for a job I didn’t particularly love.

This week I’m particularly aware of how much being at school obviously zaps them. They are shattered, hungry and miserable when we get home. Usually my kids are great, fun people to be around. They question a lot, we discover things together, I teach them things I know, we read, we laugh, they play. In sending them to school from September so I can concentrate on helping to run the business am I inviting stress and misery into their little lives?

My mum who was a reception teacher firmly believes that children need to learn about structure, routine, fitting in with the masses but I’m pretty sure she’s wrong.

Luckily through the pre-school I’ve made some top mates – other mummies who have small kids who get on well with E&M. They’re always being invited to parties, play-dates, chicken/cow feeding so another huge fringe benefit is these new friendships will continue and grow with the children staying at school.

Before going to school today neither of my 3 year olds knew of the existence of many of the toys they later were frentically ripping and sticking and insisting Santa would be bringing them on the 25th December. As I escorted them out of their classroom I fixed my grin and commented loudly to them and their teacher that it was marvellous to like so many things so Father Christmas would have a lovely range to choose ONE from. I was quietly livid that our kids had been exposed to the wicked world of blatant overproduction when we have gone to quite big lengths to keep them away from shops, tv advertising and the idea that small people living in this society should learn to expect so much when so many people in the world have so little.

The children are aware that it is Christmas for the first time in their little lives and we are really enjoying setting up traditions which will presumably last for their entire childhoods (eg. the annual retrieving of the Christmas decorations from the loft, the singing of the carols and listening to Christmas CDs, making and sending cards and gifts, seeing loads of favourite people, getting a tree and so on) but someone else putting the idea that they are are at liberty to dictate what will be given to them with little regard for how much it would cost has made me feel angry. I wanted my kids to be thrilled with the few choice presents Bealers and I have bought for them (a kiddie torch each, Guess Who game, Shrek play doh some 2nd hand books, 2nd hand duvet sets and a couple of bug catcher/microscope thingies) but now feel slightly worried that the expectations they have will not be met.

I know that their pre-school teachers have a tiring day and it has been a long term and they all have their own Christmases to organise at home but to me this is slightly lazy teaching which the children could have done without. If they had been asked instead to draw pictures of things they might wish for or maybe just had a chat about how the whole Christmas giving and receiving things with love works I’d have been completely cool but instead I’m a tad worried about the quiet chat I feel I’m needing to have with the pre-school teachers about why I’m annoyed. Generally when I have such chats I end up feeling like the freak with old-fashioned principles but as they are principles I most probably will and should say something in case other parents feel the same way and to save future classes of pre-schoolers from thinking that each and every desirable thing can and will be theirs each Christmas!

The ironic thing is that this morning as we got up both children wailed ‘We don’t want to go to school’ and yet again I questioned myself as to why I was sending them and what could they learn in a large class that I couldn’t teach them at home…

I hope I don’t sound like a whinging anti-fun mummy today or that I’m making a big deal out of a very small incident but I do feel increasingly concerned about the way the end of year festival is celebrated by endless shopping when really it could just be a jolly time to get together, eat some lovely things, light a lot of candles and yes enjoy receiving the odd treat which otherwise would not be something we’d have.

Call me a middle-class softie but I’m quite keen for my little ones to be blissfully ignorant about what guns, soldiers and wars are until they have the capacity to understand. Given that their favourite story tape in the car is still the Teletubbies I am doubtful that they have reached this level of maturity just yet.

I’m really surprised that an educational establishment felt it appropriate to give such a toy to such a young child and I now feel in a slight predicament as to whether I should mention anything to the pre-school carers (who are all absolutely lovely).

As we walked out of nusery with me exclaiming ‘How wonderful that you won a prize!’ to my thrilled child I thought to myself ‘I’m probably just being oversensitive and besides they’ll never know what toy soldiers represent at this age’. As soon as we got home the two kids opened the packet and only moments later I watched them play with two soldiers each simulating stabbing one another with their guns shouting ‘I KILL YOU! I KILL YOU! I KILL YOoooooU!’.

Hmmmmm. Nil points awarded to the ‘Send your kids to school’ side.

More info here on http://flexitimeschooling.info

We had quite similar attitudes and reservations on the home education conundrum and so it was really lovely to meet someone who didn’t think I was really odd to be considering it.

She and I agreed on the following:

• We would welcome and support from the LEA incl. home visits to say whether or not our kids were on track
• How would we manage with having our kids with us 24/7 but not having the full backing of grandparents and therefore not feeling able to ask them to have them once a week
• A school-like routine would keep everyone sane and would allow dedicated hours for housework and other essential tasks.
  Zoe had thought the following framework could work…
  7am breakfast and some light housework (eg. laundry)
  9-10am learning work (eg. reading, writing, maths)
  10am: Outside for exercise and games whatever the weather
  10.30ish: Project work or continuation of the morning session
  12 Noon: Lunch time ( we thought a packed lunch would reduce the need for mum to make lunch)
  1-2pm: Arts, crafts, music (less intensive education)
  2pm til teatime: Playtime for kids and housework for parent
  Teatime could involve the whole family as not having to rush kids to bed in preparation for school start the next day.
  Weekends would have some time for planning for the following week and we liked the idea of doing work on projects.

We chatted about how my having twins would make teaching them easier than someone who had kids of differing ages but then we discussed how actually in a classroom setting there are often kids of many different ability levels and loads of them so perhaps teaching a small number isn’t so hard.

Having a local community of home educating families would be important as you could draw on other parents strengths (eg. music, art, languages, sport)
We  were both of the opinion that it makes a lot of sense  when we read that kids who are effectively home educated are ahead of their peers taught in schools.

We wondered what we would do when it came to GSCE time…

I told Zoe about Darren’s fear that our kids would be labelled ‘wierd’ and also may not have many friends but my research leads me to believe that home educated kids are often very popular with their schooled chums and are ‘cooler’ than the norm and very often the kids who do go to school are envious of their confidence and lack of involvement in school politics.

Zoe and I agreed to stay in touch and meet up perhaps with the children. We both also confessed that the opportunity to home educate becomes less appealing when thinking of the possibility of having a third child. Both of us would continue to send our kids to the local school if we became pregnant with our third!

Here are some comments from various websites/people who have experience in home educating and extoil the benefits it brings:

Read responses to the post ‘Your Top 3 Reasons for Home-educating‘ on Mumsnet

Non-schooled children often have a confidence and different outlook on life which their schooled counterparts don’t have. This partly results from the fact that they have not been continuously tested to satisfy someone-else’s agenda, not constantly measured against others, not regarded as backward or below-average in any way, been encouraged to follow their interests and have, on the whole, been treated respectfully as regards what they do and don’t want to do in life. They see their future as more under their own control than predetermined by others. Life is seen as something to look forward to – not a chore.
Alan Harris-Reid: PARENTS – TRUST YOUR CHILDREN. LET THEM BE. (Alternative title – “Am I doing the right thing?”) http://www.education-otherwise.org/Links/HE_Adult_St/Harris-Reid.htm

http://www.education-otherwise.org/Links/HE_Adult_St/EO_Member_Story.htm

There are as many reasons for this as there are families doing it. Here are a few of them: children’s ill health; unhappiness, loss of a ‘childhood’, bullying, children turning into unrecognisable aliens! Poor academic achievement despite intelligence; lack of support for learners’ needs; lack of respect for children – their personalities and gifts; the increasing stress of testing and attainment targets; poor interaction with others in schools – both children and teachers alike; narrowing of the curriculum; intense pressure; unreasonable expectation put upon children and teenagers.

In general; miserable, stressed, switched off kids. And the deep inherent feeling in parents that surely there has to be another way.

Surely a successful life in the real world after school years is not dependent on this!

You’ll be glad to know, it isn’t!

To put some other worries at rest; educating out of school is legal, you don’t have to be a teacher, your kids do make friends, there is support, you will not be alone or the only ones, children do learn, and finally home educating does work!

We, like many others, feel that there are many paths to learning. Children are inherently inquisitive people at the start of their young lives and if left to their own devices, with the normal interaction all families have with the world, it would be difficult to stop them learning! Learning is going on in whatever they are doing – playing, painting, shopping, using the computer, chatting with friends, riding their bikes, using the internet, watching Time Team, having a conversation at tea time or bedtime or in the back of the car! They ask questions all the time – unless they’ve been switched off which so often happens in school.

Many Home educators become confident that nearly all activities are ‘educational’, whether they are in the home or out in museums, parks, play centres, places of interest, library, sports centres, clubs, groups, friends’ houses.

And although the children do not follow the completely structured approach they are bright, intelligent people who are developing their skills all the time.
http://www.education-otherwise.org/Links/HE_Adult_St/rmount.htm