Becoming Domestic

About a year or so ago I discovered the FlyLady website and signed up for her daily emails proscribing what household chores were to be done each day (moving through a series of weekly ‘zones’covering the main areas of the house). I really liked them not only because I was brand new to housewiffery and it helped me understand how to be methodical about housework but also because the site sends testamonial emails out to its subscribers which are always from some delighted person who has never before known the secrets to having an easy to maintain,‘visitor-ready’home.

Although I no longer follow the daily advice I still do receive the emails from the FlyLady site. I hardly ever read them but just by the subject header alone I am reminded of gems such as ’15 mins of decluttering’or ‘a daily swish &a swipe in the bathroom is all it needs’a few times a week can turn what feels like a disorganised and chaotic home into one where you feel calm and in control.

One thing I’ve very recently learnt from the FlyLady which has taken a good couple of decades of adulthood to get to grips with is the concept that I am not going to save the human population from environmental disaster by hoarding various things which are no good to anyone in my loft,in my cupboards etc.

Regular readers of this blog will know how keen I am on recycling wherever possible but what does one do with things that no-one else wants (eg. odd gloves,odd earrings,odd socks,broken plastic toys,old gadgets,excess coat hangers ancient out of date text books)?

I have moved house eleven times since I left home aged 18 and so many of these items have been dragged around with me –costing valuable lifting resources and storage each time. Ithas only recently dawned on me that all of these things belong in the bin and my keeping them out of landfill sites is really not helping anyone as ultimately there will come a time when I am gone and only my belongings remain. It is my responsibility to not have our living spaces filled with unecessary clutter,to not over buy,to give away and sell on decent things we no longer have a use for and to THROW AWAY anything which is rubbish.

Luckily we are blessed with a really good kerb side recycling scheme here where old linens are collected in bags with books,cardboard and paper,plastic bottles are collected with cans and other aluminium foil items. We also have a very active Freecycle community in the local area,and my local library seems more than happy to take the books I no longer want.

I still however,have to really force myself to bin things which I know once had a use but will now clog up a small volume of land with junk instead of stuffing it back into the bottom of my wardrobe/loft.

We are considering moving house again some time in the next year and I do think that it is easier to practice a general ongoing battle against clutter for those of us who move frequently. As one looks around and is forced to consider how long it will take to pack various categories of things it does encourage a bit of action to take things to the charity shop,to post an ‘Offered’notice on Freecycle or to bin it.

Here is a recent email from the FlyLady to her subscribers which encouraged us all to not hoard junk for fear of clogging up the planet as the alternative is living in a personal,centrally heated mini-landfill site….

I encourage you to remove the clutter from your home. I want you to
donate as much as possible,but let’s face it;a lot of what we have
is not fittin’to give away. IT IS TRASH! Do not donate stuff that
should be thrown away. Just as you would not donate expired food from
your pantry;don’t donate things that are just trash.

Now don’t fuss at me for this. I am as environmentally conscious as
the next person. We recycle most everything in our home. I would say
that we only throw out a couple of bags of real trash a year. Now
don’t tell me I don’t support recycling. As an elected county
commissioner,I know first hand how much trash cost us for every ton
that goes into the landfill. I hate it,but trash is part of life and
we have to learn how to deal with it.

I have been teaching you for four years that giving things
away blesses others and yourself,but what if the stuff you have is
not worth giving,even to a charity. Many charities have complained
that when people donate bags of clothing and broken stuff to them,it
cost them money to dispose of them. There is no way for you know
where to donate or sell bulk clothing that is worn out and beyond
recycling. So don’t overwhelm charities with your responsibility for
putting this in the landfill. You saved it,so you should take
responsibility for your own trash. This means paying for the right to
dispose of it properly.

I am all for saving the environment,but if you have been holding on
to stuff because you don’t know where or how to get rid of it,then
your home has become just like a landfill. No one wants to live in a
DUMP! I know you have boxes of clothes and stuff that have not been
open for decades. It is time to release this stuff once and for all.
There is no sense in making your children go through this stuff after
you are dead and gone. Some of you have had to deal with your
parent’s stockpiles. You know how overwhelming this job can be.

By all means donate all the usable clothing and appliances,have a
free yard sale or give items to friends. Be careful not to lay guilt
trips on your family members or your friends,give them permission to
say,”No Thank You!”

Your personal landfill is killing you. I want this trash out of your
home once and for all! If I can impress upon you how dangerous it is
to live in house that is filled to the brim with this unwanted,
unloved energy sucking monster,I have done my job! Not only is it a
hazard to your mental well being,it is a serious hazard to your
safety as well;fire hazards,unsanitary,toxins,structural for your
home,and attracts rodents. Now what does this sound like to you? A
landfill or dumping ground! You got it sister!

Now your home did not become the landfill overnight,it took years
and it is not going to get clean in a day! DO YOU HEAR ME! So don’t
try to do this yesterday!

This is also going to be hard to face your mountain of clutter! You
are going to want to beat yourself up about all of this stuff you
have hoarded. DO NOT GIVE IN TO THE CLUTTER MONSTER’S WAY OF STOPPING
YOU FROM EVICTING HIM! This is his evil ploy to discourage you. You
are also going to be dredging up old memories that are sometimes hard
to deal with. Let it out,cry if you need to,but purge these sad
mementos so you never have to be reminded of them again. I only want
you surrounded by things that give you joy and build you up. There is
no room in your life for those memories of sad times. Free yourself
to FLY!

Where do you start!

1. You get dressed to shoes,fix your hair and face and do your
morning routine,including starting supper! Now you do understand
this,don’t you!

2. If you are one of the people that needs to marathon
declutter,then by all means,back your truck up to the house and
start to load it up with your trash. I know you have tons of it. For
now,don’t worry about recycling,because your health is more
important to me then the fact that you will be adding one more ton to
the landfill. Do not email me complaining about my attitude.
Sometimes it take a good purge to get you started on a way of life
that includes recycling and shopping with the environment in mind.
Right now you can’t even think past your next hour,much less deal
with the problems of the world. So get over your guilt about this and
start to live. You and the world will be much better off when you do.
Besides charity starts at home,so does your environmental
consciousness. How can you save the world,if you haven’t saved
yourself first?

3. If you can afford to order a dumpster. Do it! We did this three
years ago during our remodel. It was the smartest thing we ever did
for our construction crew and ourselves. It was expensive,but worth
every penny. By this time we had recycled most everything we could
and now all we had to do was purge the junk that was in our
basement. These were things that Robert finally decided had no
useful life.

4. I am not fond of yard sales,because they have a way of
beating you up even more. You are never going to get what you paid
for it at a yard sale! This leaves you feeling defeated by the whole
process. If you give things away,you will be blessed by giving to
those in need. Try this sometime. Just set a table up with items to
give away. Just see who shows up and how you can bless them with your
excess. The stories and the lives you touch will stay with you
forever. Not only will you be helping others,you will be helping
yourself and your spirit. Lighten your load!

5. When you move items from one room to another,(the garage) in
hopes of having a yard sale SOMEDAY! This guilt will eat at you too.
The whole process becomes overwhelming. You have to price stuff and
organize it,publicize it;the list goes on and on. Where do you
start? Suze Orman taught me this. Let go of it and bless others. Just
set up a table and put a sign on it that say FREE! The items will
leave so fast your head will spin. Just wait and see.

6. What if you can’t do a marathon decluttering,then take it
one day at a time. As one member put it this morning. It is like an
alcoholic in AA. You have to take it a day at a time,control the
urge to hold on to clutter by letting go of a little each day. This
is how

I decluttered our home,one 27 fling boogie a day. Sometimes 2 or
more. We have also added 5 minute room rescues to help with the
process. Our first suggestion is to get the main areas of your home
decluttered so you can start to enjoy the peace that this affords
you. This peace gives you the incentive to declutter more and more.

7. During this process,always get dressed and do your routines
before starting to declutter. All it takes is 15 minutes a day of
decluttering to make a lasting impact on your home and life.
Establish your routines and include these 15 minutes each and every
day and before long,you will start to see major progress.

So the bottom line is get rid of the clutter any way you can;
marathon decluttering or with the gradual approach. I don’t care
which you are using;keep in mind as you bring something home,get
rid of two items. This will help control future clutter problems.
What ever you do,it is the consistency that will make the
difference. Your routines are the stability that allows your home to
come together. We have all marathon cleaned to get ready for company.

I call marathon cleaning,“Stash and Dash”! When you are marathon
decluttering,you are not stashing anymore. The clutter is leaving
your home. I have one big warning in all of this. Do not crash and
burn! Take plenty of breaks and don’t pull out more than you can put
back in an hour. THIS MEANS ONLY CLEAN ONE SHELF AT A TIME OR ONE
DRAWER AT A TIME,NOT THE WHOLE CLOSET! I hope I can make this very
clear to you! When we get into our all or nothing attitudes,this is
when we allow ourselves to get overwhelmed by the whole process and
give up!

I want you to put on your blinders and quit looking at the
immobilizing job of the whole house and only concentrate on little
bitty bites at a time. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME ON THIS??? This attitude
is what got your home in the shape it is in! It is called
perfectionism. All of us have it! Let go of it and learn to FLY!

Be aware that decluttering is contagious!

Are you ready to FLY?

FlyLady

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